We know this. Every single one of us will die. We don’t know if there was a before or there’ll be a thereafter. Is there something like reincarnation? What do we do though with this knowledge? What do we do?
My dream is to be financially independent, travel, explore different cultures and foods, take photos and write. My happiest time was the 10 months I spent in Australia between 2009-2010. I was completely immersed in myself and my life. Being in Australia isolates you from what’s happening in the world. It really did it for me. Not consuming much, valuing the time I had with my friends there, I realized I didn’t need much to be happy and content. Reading a book in the Botanical Garden in Sydney was everything my inner self craved for. Laughing with friends. Dancing on a boat in the ocean. Whenever I remember – it takes me back to so many good memories.
Now I’m in a different place. Different things that happened in my life pushed me to try something else. Brexit, Trump and becoming a mother have challenged and pushed me to go for my dream to actively get involved in women’s rights and equality. Isn’t it funny how we say things, smoothening and blending our experience into something that it really isn’t? We straighten it out, so our life looks linear. So, I’d say I always wanted to do something about women’s rights. But the truth is – back then when I felt unfree and suffered from different systems of oppression, I needed it so much! I had to do something about the liberation of women. It affected me every single day, and that’s why it was so important. And then I took a break far away in Oz. And believe you me, none of this was needed, at least for the short time I was there.
And I think the effect lasted for quite a bit. Even though London chewed me up and gave me a fair portion of sexist moments I had to endure (because I had no clue yet how to defend myself), it took me falling pregnant and facing taking responsibility for another woman – a girl that was growing in my own tummy to realise that another generation was being born into a world where white, MALE, class privilege still ran rampant. Had I stayed in Oz, would I have ever left my little world of privilege? Would I have ever cared again? I don’t know, but what I do know is that being back in the hectic, problematic Old World had brought me closer to the young girl’s skin I was growing out of. I thought I had left her behind, but there she was, still there, waiting to be released.
So, had I always been that interested in women’s rights? I don’t know, what I do know is, that I was interested in my girl’s future. And that moved me to read more feminist literature and start this blog. She was the driver really, and what was before her was part of the story maybe, but didn’t matter as much? Or did she throw me back to my roots? Remind me of how limiting life could be?
Now, that I am stuck here in the US for a little longer, I’m dreaming about breaking out and travelling again. Enjoying the regained freedom and living it up! Because I know it will make me happy. Sometimes you need to take time out for yourself and focus only on that. It took me long enough to dare to be selfish, never ever do I want to give up on it again. The world needs healthy people to fight for it, not people who drive and get driven to being sick.
So, I don’t know what you’ll do with knowing your end is near. Sometimes nearer than we can anticipate. I want to have a good time. If I can make a difference as well, that would be great. Who’s the better parent? The one who tries to fight the system and raises their child within the system to kick up a fuss or the one who sabotages the outreach of the system by taking their child around the world and deliver first-hand a different, hands-on kind of education? And maybe, it’s not a decision. Maybe you can do both? And maybe the secret is to find a balance between the good life and the good life?
Even though my experience has taken me down some specific paths, my decision making wasn’t always the reason for it. Sometimes, things turned out surprisingly different. When we look back, we do tend to describe things in a way that makes sense to us. Why does everything need to make sense for a human being? Why does a path need to lead somewhere? Maybe that’s a topic for another blog articles?
If I got to change one thing about my life, then I’d have started liberating myself much earlier. Even though I like who I am today, and I can tell why specific experiences were necessary, it would have been nice to take a shortcut 😉 And obviously, there are always experiences that one could have done without.
What do you do with the knowledge that you’ll die one day? What will you do with the knowledge that you’ll die one day? Will you look away or will you face it?